Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
