I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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