the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
