I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
