thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
