sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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