Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
