I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
