It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
