he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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