sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
