It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
