It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
