I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
