I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
