batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
