butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize