All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
