Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize