Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
