Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
