He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
