im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
