it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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