I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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