Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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