Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
