i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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