what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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