you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
