I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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