genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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