we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
