someone owes me an orgasm
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
there is glitter all over my balls
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