when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
