Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
