Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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