We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
