I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
