So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
