Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
nutella sex= disaster
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
