Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
