why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
