I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
