And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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