I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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