first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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