Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
