Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
