I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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