2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
