textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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