You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
