He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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