I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
