no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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