Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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