it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
