Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
