So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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