I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
