so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize