Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Couch. On fire.
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