Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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