no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I see more hoeing in ur future
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
