kristin has been a bad kristin
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
