if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
