I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We're facebook friends in real life
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
