Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
