Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
