My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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