Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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