i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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