remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
